I have officially been nicotine free for fourteen days!
It’s been pretty easy in hindsight.
The first reason being that I didn’t want to part with my money. It’s funny how all of a sudden being able to afford to buy cigarettes didn’t really make me want to rush to the convenience store. I truly thought that was going to be a problem, but luckily it hasn’t been- like, at all. So far, I’ve calculated that I’m saving approximately (5.68*7=) $39.76 a week. I have definitely noticed a big change there! I’m 6 days post payday and not stressing about money, because I haven’t smoked half of it away already. This is probably the biggest perk I’ve noticed.
Throw into the mix that I haven’t been around any smokers at all. For the first time in a long while, I’ve managed to avoid the stress caused by being the only smoker around. I haven’t had to sneakily excuse myself to avoid a certain conversation or awkward moment between my peers. I haven’t had to deal with the frustrating moments of can you please go away? I’m trying to smoke a cigarette and I really don’t want you to inhale my second hand smoke because you’re a beautiful creature and I love you and I don’t want you to die. I haven’t had to endure any stressful family events or riding in the car with children all while wondering when the next smoke break I can take will be. That knowledge in itself is a huge relief.
It’s not all rainbows and sunshine; I’m experiencing a few small downfalls. The anxiety has calmed down, I’d say it’s tolerable now, but still very much there. Also, I don’t quite enjoy other things as much as I used to. For example, in my opinion, drinking alcohol is probably only 33.33% as fun as it used to be without a cigarette.
Smoking weed is also not as fun without cigarettes at all.
I know that in the long run I will supposedly love myself so much more because I quit smoking. At this moment, however, I truly don’t feel like the pros outweigh the cons. I don’t miss smoking. I don’t miss being told I smell like smoke. I don’t miss having to scrape change in order to feed a habit. I don’t miss feeling like a slave to my cravings. I don’t miss waking up with a burning throat daily. I don’t miss the constant worrying about cigarette breaks.
It may seem stupid and silly to you, that I think there’s anything at all to miss about smoking. You would be correct too! As stupid and silly as it is, I do miss the camaraderie found in those moments when you step outside and there’s one other person out there smoking, feeling like you are the same as them, fighting some ‘good fight’ or whatever; its easy to start a conversation, it’s easy to ask for a light and find some sort of similarity, some sort of bonding point. I do miss the camaraderie found in other smokers because they know, and if you know- you just know.
Either way, it’s been two weeks. I did it. I’m doing it. Hip-Hip-Hoowhatever.