Today marks my third week being cigarette free.
I feel both very different and new, but also very weighed down and old. I don’t necessarily feel the need to mention it to friends or family anymore. Though I have had a few peers ask me how the “quitting thing” is going, to which I’ve responded 2 weeks, 5 days or it’s going, I guess depending on my mood.
I did kind of cheat, but it wasn’t intentional and it wasn’t a cigarette. I hit the half smoked bowl that was offered to me; afterwards I’d found out that she spliff’d it up by putting some of the tobacco from some flavored cigarillo guts in the bowl. Once I realized what I had done, I was very afraid that I would have to deal with cravings and restart my process. Much to my surprise, I didn’t.
I am still trudging along quite faithfully, in my opinion.
One thought that I truly enjoy the most out of not smoking is that now I have absolutely no excuse to be a litterbug. There would be times when I was driving around in my car when I would throw a totally smoked butt out the window and then spend the rest of the day feeling guilty. The. Rest. Of. The. Day. Now I don’t have to worry about that at all. It actually feels good. It feels so good, when I went to the beach yesterday, I picked up some trash that I saw on the way back to the entrance- it wasn’t even mine! (By the way, littering is literally the most uncool thing you can do. Call me a hypocrite- I know.)
Secondly, I’ve started drinking a lot more water. It started of as just a replacement for when I’m in the car and feeling the urge. However, it has morphed into something entirely different. I now actually crave water. I wish I could write a letter to the nurses in the emergency room who treated me a few months ago. The entire 4 hours that I was there each person who entered the room asked me, How do you like your water? Ice cold? Room temperature? Chugs or sips? While I laughed in response saying, I don’t like water at all. Each one urging me to quit smoking, asking if I needed any more medication or blankets, and to drink more water because I was ‘severely’ dehydrated and had a raging kidney infection. (Probably won’t tell that story. Haha)
Because I don’t smoke and I now bring water with me everywhere I go, being stuck in traffic is frustrating but it isn’t anything I want to kill myself over. I also haven’t been late to work in two weeks because I haven’t stopped to get cigarettes or a red bull when I really didn’t have the time.
I still experience cravings, but they’re more like emotional response cravings as in I can picture myself in my head being upset and lighting up, rather than WOW I JUST WANT A CIGARETTE. I know at this point even if I were to light up, I’d feel incredibly sick. I can confidently say that I never again want to feel the physical ‘delights’ of getting re-accustomed to nicotine.
That’s all I have to say about that right now. Thank for keeping up with me on my journey.